Hey guys, this is how i sex it up at the jersey shore:
1. Get the Val Venis theme song going, yea u kno the one im talking about...
Hellooooo Ladies...
 
2. hav jc's cousin frank look for the ladies all night long, u kno the ladies we're talkin about, the sexy dimes u only find at the shore...
3. oo u guys wanna see frank huh? here u go...
4. wooo and we got my song.....hot hot heat baby thats playing in the background, wu tang, tupac, ying yang twins and adam levine, and of course, how can we forget Meatloaf, the don right there.
5. daily workout routine: the 7 am run on the beach, followed by pull ups on the monkey bars, situps, then a little basketball.
6. and finally riding our fucked up bikes, the ones with the screeching brakes and the gangster baskets.
yea so that concludes my list of sexy things, but heres some things that has happened so far.
1. riding to a&p at 12 am and having some drunk guy ask, "do u kno how many blocks?" then saying "fuck you" then "fuck you too" to jc and i, respectively.
2. makin some homeade pizza, boboli bitches.
3. beach everyday of course.
4. riding the skyride shit at seaside heights.
5. reuniting with the daughter of the owner of the new jersey devils, the amazing 12 or 14 year old that will be the reason for us going to jail.
6. coppin some pfs and sbs, no sales tax bitches.
7. crustless pb & j sandwiches at 2 am.
8. makin fun of grizzly frank's hairy ass
9. gazebo unit
10. learning how to float, use the boogieboard and bodysurf.
11. "how does this bitch not know where jamaica queens is?"
12. random girl looks at hermit crabs, "are these crabs real?"...frank replies, "no bitch they're sexually transmitted disease crabs."
13. learning how to throw a football with my left hand.
14. getting to kno lionel richie a little better.
15. making a profile on match.com, telling everyone about my beautiful ass and masturbation habits.
16. jc making 100 dollar phone calls to israel.
17. frank dropping his italian ice after buying it 1 minute and 41 seconds before.
18. uncle bobby:"What's in your wallet?"
19. uncle bobby: "Lisa Wetbreasts"
20. discovering a new meaning to the word 'ducks'
to be continued... | 
